How to be wrong
Sometimes you seek growth.
Sometimes growth seeks you.
When you're wrong, mistaken, or accused of being wrong, you've got an unsolicited opportunity to grow into your relationship, your brand, your reputation - all of which will help you in the long run.
This applied coaching post is for you if you’re ready or already taking action to grow and develop your leadership strength, skills, and stamina.
If you're willing, when you make a mistake, you can make it a springboard for positive growth. Here's how.
This is applied coaching and it’s for you if you’ve ever:
Been wrong
Been accused of being wrong
Realized you might have made a mistake
Realized others think you're wrong
Known for sure you were wrong
Why does being wrong feel so bad?
Being wrong feels bad because your brain is automatically freaking out that your mistake (real or hypothetical) has put you in danger by risking something you need.
A mistake means a possible risk.
Including your job, financial security, your reputation or relationship, emotional connections, your sense of belonging, prestige, or accomplishments.
You need these things to succeed. They're part of a fulfilled life (in psychology, we refer to this as a self-actualized life).
What does being wrong feel like?
Guilt
Regret
Resentment
Anger
Defensiveness
Because your brain wants to protect you from emotional and practical risks, it will work to find allllllll the reasons why you're not wrong.
So, of course, what do we automatically do when we don't want to be wrong?
Explain why you're not wrong
Defend why you did what you did
Convince others it's not a mistake
Blame others
Downplay the severity
Ignore it altogether
Where does this get you?
Defensiveness, rationalizing, blaming, and, or acting like an ostrich with your head in the sand, ultimately makes the situation worse.
This is your ego and your brain doing the best they can by acting on autopilot.
But your automatic response is basic and it will keep you stuck.
What's the alternative?
Use blame, guilt, regret, resentment, and especially defensiveness as a cue: you may be wrong.
Opt out of all the drama you're making it mean: "I'm not good enough," "I'm a failure," "This will never work," "Why did I even bother?" "They're out to get me," "Poor me." That's all thought noise that's not serving you.
All being wrong means is that there's a risk that deserves your attention and your intention.
Here's the winner's play: Ownership.
Own the mistake. Own the solution.
In any area of your life, no matter the depth or breadth of the wrong, owning it will help you grow. You can create your own silver lining.
Dwelling, defending, ignoring, and blaming feel really sucky and keep you playing small.
This is leveling up. When you have made a mistake or (even may have made a mistake): Own it. Fix it. Move on.
Recap
When you're wrong, mistaken, or accused of being wrong, you've got an unsolicited opportunity to grow into your relationship, your brand, your reputation - all of which will help you level up in the long run.
When you make a mistake, you can make it a springboard for positive growth to develop your leadership strength, skills, and stamina.
Own it.
Fix it.
Move on.
Tarah Keech is a Master Life Coach, a burnout prevention and recovery expert, and has a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and a resume of Fortune 100 consulting.
No, she can’t read your mind but she knows how your thoughts work and can help you see them and then use them so you can level up your life personally and professionally.
Basically, she’s a combination of strategist, mentor, and bestie. Except she gives you better advice than your friends do and she teaches you how your brain works so you can take informed action that creates real change.
She helps smart leaders level up their businesses and lives in the Level Up Membership.
And to connect with Tarah directly, complete this form.
