Grace and Space for Feelings

So, I'm currently avoiding thought work and making decisions, and I wondered if you wanted to help me. Are you also super productive when you're avoiding things? Now, listen, I'm going to face this. I will deal with it. I did want to honor the inspiration that came to me though, and share with you this thought that has been important for me during a week of transition and professional development.

It started with one of those beautiful Instagram shares. Thank you, Nicole. My beautiful sister-in-law shared with me this dad who was telling a story about observing his child having a hard emotional time, and she was feeling lots of feelings that she wasn't able to articulate because she had a new friend join her friend group and the daughter said, “I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous.”

And ultimately he came down to, “are you afraid there's not enough friendship to go around?” It was enjoyably articulated, and I could really relate to the story. Then the dad kept speaking, and explaining how he was processing it. He's mentions that we're all taught, the older millennials, Gen Xers who are expressing and healing their own emotional traumas and needs, those of us who are working to do this work of greater self-awareness, emotional healing, and burnout avoidance. We know that with the higher knowing, not always the tangible, realized knowing, we know that love is an option, and there is always more love.

We focused on that, right? We focused on healing, and getting to the place where we can create the love, the acceptance, and the permission that we need and want. This dad's point was: where have we created the capacity, or the permission to feel the negative spectrum emotions? I think this is an important thought for you.

And I want to offer you this. I've been observing this in my own life, in my coaching calls with clients, and with my kids this week, you do not have to rush out of your anxiety. You do not have to rush out of your sadness. You right now, whatever it is you're going through, you have infinite capacity to feel all of your feelings and you're here.

I know that you join me in these thoughts and reflections often, so you know that emotions aren't a bad thing or a good thing. They're indicators of what we're going through. And so, I guess I really just wanted to encourage you and share with you that feeling the sadness, the anxiety, the grief, the nervousness, the shame, or the anger isn't a good or bad thing.

You have permission to feel it. You are not being rushed out of feeling that feeling. In fact, the more that you can create the capacity, the grace, and the space for yourself to feel that feeling, the more that you're going to free yourself up to live your life with the purpose, the fullness, the intention, the depth, the beauty, and the pain that are part of what you're here to live.

For you, if there's an emotion that you're avoiding, like me, if you are also avoiding things (and maybe reading blog posts instead of doing something that's really hard), it's okay for you to feel that feeling. You are allowed to feel it and you are not being rushed or urged or cheerlead. (cheerleaded?) Someone let me know what that conjugation is. 

Feel it.

Let the emotion be present. 

Do not resist it. 

As a reminder, your emotions, whatever those emotions are, are a biological response. It is a chemical exchange that you experience as a physical sensation. You have tremendous capacity for it, and it is valuable. Don't rush yourself out of it. So today, for whatever it is you're feeling, I encourage you to think through how you can create more space, real grace, and understanding for you to let the feeling come and let it process.

And only when you're ready, not because you're running from it, or scared of it, or afraid of what it might mean, but when you're ready, you can shift into something else. You have all the time that you need, all the space that you need to feel what you're feeling. All right, that's it for today. I'm going to do a couple more clicks on my computer, and I'm going to go and let my anxiousness sit with me, let some fear sit with me, and let some sadness sit with me, and I am not going to rush out of it. I encourage you to do the same.

I look forward to being back with you on the next post soon. Have a great rest of whatever this day is for you, even if it is feeling the negative feelings. I'll talk with you soon.

If you’d like to book a discovery call to learn how coaching can help you lead well and live well, book your call here:

Or you can always reach out to me directly at tarah@tarahkeech.com.