Homework for Love (Part 2)

This is a homework update from the last entry. The coaching questions that I asked myself as an executive coach, and all of you lovely leaders reading this blog. 

First up is: where have I not shown love to myself? These are my answers: I don't listen to my body all the time, like when I sit on corporate conference calls for hours on end and I don't get up to pee, or overeat because the food tastes great in the moment, but it hurts me in the end. It's like I don't value or appreciate the experience of taste that I've had so far, and I disrespect or disobey the signals that my body is full. 

During my downtime, I prioritize more work or domestic tasks over fun, restorative activities. I struggle with making decisions of self-care over working. I haven't done my thought work consistently, which I know is one of the biggest ways that I can demonstrate love to myself and my boundaries. I let frustrations fester when I could just simply state what I need and want. Instead, I let myself stay fearful of the outcomes, or try to avoid a conflict and just put up with it. Or I’ll take one for the team, for the sake of harmony. 

For the second question: what does love feel like, and how do I know when I feel it physically and emotionally? What does love feel like? Here are my answers: love feels like a swelling, lifting, helium feeling that pulls my solar plexus up, and rolls my shoulders up and back, and my cheeks and throat. I smile and feel warm. I kind of get floaty all over, things seem brighter and warmer. It's relentless. It feels strong, and I feel secure. 

My answer to the last question: if I lived in love, what would be different in my day to day? My thoughts went bananas here. My thoughts were like a torrent, super muddy, thinking I had automatic pushback to even doing this imagination. It felt like a victim to the routine of my day-to-day. I feel like a victim to the routine of my day-to-day, the onslaught of chores, tasks, and all the little details that I'm responsible for. Not even at work, but yes, also at my corporate job. I can't imagine that even love would make that different. It hurts to not trust that love can do that. I do enjoy a lot in my daily life. I've already woven in joys and self-care, but it's not enough. Is that right? There's that damn thought again, that just-not-enoughness. That hurts. 

So here's my coaching reflection: these answers could each be explored independently, but for now, going through to create awareness is enough. Observation is powerful. Just getting my brain to recognize what it's doing in the background of my day-to-day will prime me, and help me to see whatever I need to explore more deeply next. There is a theme of insufficiency here, and I see it. There's more to come on that topic, no doubt. But right now, for today, observation is enough. That’s the power of leadership coaching and the thought work I use every day.

If you’d like to book a discovery call to learn how coaching can help you lead well and live well, book your call here:

Or you can always reach out to me directly at tarah@tarahkeech.com.